Avast, me fine hearties! Talk Like A Pirate Day is upon us, and this here day is one ‘near and dear to me heart’. I just love excuses to be silly in public, especially when rum is involved. Or beer. Or basically if there is a hat available. Or not.
In any event, don’t feel you need to grab a hook for your arm – it’s just as fun to practice your pirate in slacks and a shirt. Seriously, people-this is a global movement. Get with the program. If you’re lost, you are living in 1996.
For those of you land lubbers who have never heard of Talk Like a Pirate Day (or think we’re crazy), please first take a moment to view this educational tape from the experts at Loading Ready Run:
Now that you know how to appease your pirate friends, you need to acquire drinks. This is Talk Like A Pirate Day, not Sit At Home And Knit Day. (Which could still be quite fun.) Rum is fine and all, but we are not all Captain Jack Sparrow. And even if you don’t drink, just put your water in a flask today with a squeeze of lime and write ‘scurvy rations’ on it. If you’re at your office all day, I won’t be offended if you use a mug and masking tape. Even pirates need to follow corporate code sometimes.
If you’re in Seattle, or a port town, you’re probably going to have a grand ‘ole time sortin’ out where to get your drink on. Have some examples from me’ neck of the woods, from yer most awesome-y Beer Ninja:


Pillager’s Pub
8551 Greenwood Ave N, Ste 5
Seattle, WA 98103
(206) 706-2779
http://www.pillagerspub.com
Captain Blacks
129 Belmont Ave. E,
Seattle, WA
(206) 327-9549
captainblacksseattle.com
If you’re still not sure where to go, there are parties happening across the globe in the tenth anniversary of this most solemn event. Or you can go to that link, download an app, and make everyone else hear ‘Yarr!’ from your phone all day. And if you’re feeling in the mood for scheming, learn Cards Against Humanity, and wonder why you focused on Apples to Apples for so long. (Though you should probably not bring CAH to a party with young children. There’s not much swearing, but pick up a pack and see what I mean.)
So pick up the slack on those sails, tally-ho, and be a pirate tomorrow! I like the cut of yer’ jib already!